weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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