great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
