is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
