Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
