Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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