Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
