i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
