What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
