Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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