Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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