the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
