he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
