It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
