This is not my ceiling
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
