Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
