well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
