Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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