Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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