Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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