i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
