when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I am naked and annoyed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
