No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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