I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
