Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
