Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
