The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
