i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
