How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
