She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
