why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
