Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
