Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
