South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
