Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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