Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
