So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
