I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
