he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
