I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
