i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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