I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
