It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
