Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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