i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
