I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
