I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
