So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
