Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
