You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
