weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ketchup is God's man juice
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
