Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
